Obviously not ALL my customers meet the above description, but many of them do. I’ve been in the bookselling business for more years than I care to think about and have made many friends in the course of this working life. Some are easier to make than others!
Mrs Peta Bird, a pleased purchaser of my newly published book Vergin’ on the Ridiculous was so taken with it she sent me a most delightful poem, which I will reproduce here. Even if you don’t want to read the whole thing (which you should, because it’s the wonderful tale of a day’s drag-hunting, penned by Mrs Bird, a fan of “proper” hunting) please scroll down further, as I have also uploaded a copy of her illustrated typed original. All events are factual, and it is written “with apologies to Christohper Curtis.”
If you enjoy this half as much as I did you are in for a treat!
ODE TO A MEMORABLE DAY by Mrs Peta Bird
They were late for the Meet
Which the hosts didn’t greet
With a great deal of friendly effusion,
And the later debate
Over which line to take
Simply added a sense of confusion.
I’m happy to tell -
The first fence went well
But the next proved a total ‘non-starter’
For the Whip dropped his horn
And from then on was born
The scene of a comic disaster
Ignoring Whip’s voice
The hounds made their choice
To follow a scent more appealing.
They shot off thro’ the wood
Past the Field, as they stood
With their sense of propriety reeling.
For the Whip – - it appeared
Had quite disappeared
In pursuit … … in the other direction
And hounds gleeful and free
Sped through fence, hedge and lea
Avoiding attempts at deflection.
They crossed the main road –
Which is not in Hunt ‘Code’
And headed on down to the river.
As spectators recall
they all had a ball
Swimming blissfully hither and thither.
Red faced and swearing
And almost past caring
A Huntsman rode up to the bank
The pack was recovered
But his horse wire discovered
And blood flowed from knee and from flank.
He rallied the hounds
With unprintable sounds
Down the road, round the bend, at great pace
They got back to the Field
Who, meantime had revealed
Their incompetent views on the chase
Someone had, – of course –
Been kicked by a horse
Causing further alarm and delay
So the Master appealed
That one fence and a field
Mark the end of a memorable day!
They’d offended their host
By being ‘late to the post’
Gates left open: faux pas made pro rata
Ridden over some land
Which - that day - had been banned
They are henceforth persona non grata.
Ode to a Memorable Day - original version with horse, hound and hunting illustrations